I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
