she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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