The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize