I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
