Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We left the knife in your bed.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
