he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
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Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
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I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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