I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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