Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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