oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
