well I can't set my house on fire every night
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
