i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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