I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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