he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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