Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
