His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
