At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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