: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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