This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
