I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
