He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
