dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
This is my gift to your gina
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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