I accidentally burped into my bong.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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