he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
