Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
