Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
