i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
