So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
