it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
