I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
