dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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