So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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