Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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