I'm eating all of the evidence.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
