gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
