Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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