I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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