Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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