nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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