I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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