whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
