i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
