Dual....:-)
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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