I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize