apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
please come you make the beer taste better
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The adults are the big ones right?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
