I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
