i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
