Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
