I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Girls should come with a carfax report
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
