just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
