Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This is the high leading the old right now
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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