She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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