I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
