I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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