I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
