I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
