I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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