riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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