we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
